Let's start at the very beginning...a very good place to start

01.05.13: Day 1.  Not my first Day 1, not my second or third either.  My 'journey' here has been littered with lots of false starts, lots of attempts which invariably led to lots of failures.  Whatever success I've had has always been short-lived; backsliding right back to square one, oftentimes worse off than I was before I ever tried in the first place.  So I keep grappling with the question - what is going to be different this time around?  Seriously - why will this time be better???  All I can come up with to answer this question is the simple fact that I am more sick and tired of being overweight and out of shape than I've ever been and that my 'fed up' feeling is bigger than the ease, comfort, convenience, etc of staying this way.  And, this program features something my previous attempts don't have: accountability.  During the first workout, I discovered something else that this class has: serious intensity!!!  I couldn't even complete the fit test... I was super winded so I hyper-extended my knee as I landed from a jump and did a slow motion fall and twisted my ankle a bit along the way.  So I just stopped with the around-the-world jumps and massaged and flexed my knees and ankles...because I know very well how this story could end.  I've injured myself before and then will be out for the count for days or weeks.


01.06.13: Day 2.  My whole body hurts; I feel like I've been in some sort of fight, like I got beat down...except I haven't.  Well, not unless you count yesterday's workout/fit test as a battle between me and my worst self, the parts of me that are equal parts insecure and lazy and wounded and afraid and defeatist.  I arrived for the workout today with a sense of fear - I could barely sit down and stand up without wincing so how on earth was I going to work out??  But your body will surprise you - mine sure did.  Yes, I almost keeled over during the 'warm-up.'  Yes, I had a raging stitch in my side in the second cycle and turned burnt orange by the third cycle.  But still:  I was still standing at the end of 15 minutes - which was already more than I thought I could do.  Once we got to the stations: every single thing was hard; all of it, bar none.  But the worst for me was anything that required getting on the ground and back up again.  Moves like that are challenging for me not because of stamina or endurance, but simply because of my physical bulkiness...my stomach is literally in the way.  I'm sure many of you guys can't relate to that - but that is my honest truth about why a burpie or floor crawls are such a challenge: I am literally, physically unable to curl myself up into a ball.  My God, how did I get here, to this awful and embarrassing place?  Not to mention that abdominal fat is the worst kind for your health...makes me want to holler that something has GOT to be done about this...and then I remember that I am - finally - doing something about it.  So step aside, lactic acid.


01.07.13: Day 3.  Today is Christmas for Orthodox Christians, so I know I will go from work to my uncle's house for a feast.  This is going to be one of my no exercise days and plus, I'm going to be in a food danger zone at dinner.  Before I set foot into my uncle's house, I had already decided what I was going to eat - and my goal was to eat that and nothing more, no matter what the spread looked like or what else was offered.  I'm not even working out today - so what I put in my body is all the more critical.  Happy to report that it went well; stuck to my plan and felt so good knowing that Day 3 didn't undo the good of the first two days.